


the static speaks my name

by krewella



Series: in this moment (i could die with you) [1]
Category: Cow Chop (YouTube RPF), The Creatures (Youtube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Panic Attack, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-20 05:50:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10656216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krewella/pseuds/krewella
Summary: James just wants to get off this goddamned gondola.





	the static speaks my name

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is the first in my new drabble series! 
> 
> I plan to crosspost my collection of drabbles from Tumblr onto here. They may be slightly edited/expanded from the originals. They are based off five-word prompts which will be bolded within in the drabble. 
> 
> WARNINGS: If you find realistic depictions of panic attacks distressing, please be careful when reading this drabble!
> 
> As always, you can find me at jamesrwilsonjr on Tumblr and @immortalnovas on Twitter.

_It's just a joke. It's just a_ joke _. Be funny. They're just pranking you. It's not a big deal. You can do this._

This litany of thoughts runs through James' mind on loop as the precariously balanced gondola swings along the cable's rickety track. He hates heights. He hates them so much and yet the guys are surrounding him, bursts of laughter breaking through his panic-induced haze. He knows he isn't all there. His mind is starting to feel fuzzy. He hears static, a persistent buzzing fogging his senses. He feels the telltale tightening in his chest and he knows he's only headed deeper into his downward spiral. He clenches his fists, too-long nails impressing half-moons into his palms. 

The gondola shakes again after Trevor shifts purposely into its side. James only further curls into himself, feeling too big and exposed. The static drowns out everything now; the jabs and jokes from the guys a distant memory. 

When he looks up again, he realizes Aleks has been trying to meet his eye. Aleks has been sitting across him this whole time, his laughter mingling with the others'. James attempts to manage a smile, but he feels more like a frightened lamb than anything. 

Aleks' smile slips off his face when he finally meets James' eyes. They're nearing the end of the trip now and James looks about ready to hyperventilate. Aleks knows he's probably assumed his usual worried mother expression, but he's never seen James this freaked out. 

The gondola screeches to a halt, swinging dangerously a final time. James is up immediately, the desire to escape churning uncomfortably in his stomach. The doors don't open fast enough; nothing is fast enough when everything feels like it's crashing down around him. 

When the doors finally, finally, _finally_ , open, James bolts. He finds a bench a few feet away from the landing and he sits there, breathing harshly. He realizes belatedly that he's begun to breathe too quickly. The dizziness sets in not long after that and he tries to slow down, pinpoint where he is and what's happening. 

He focuses first on the ground. It's solid cement, an easy way to ground himself. A deep breath follows. He focuses next on the bench, one of his hands clasped tightly around its edge. He breathes again. 

Something breaks through his concentration. It's faint at first, but gets gradually more insistent as he looks up to find the source. It's Aleks. Aleks is there and the rest of the guys aren't too far behind. Aleks is repeating his name and James attempts to respond. 

He wants to apologize, to make a joke, to smile, but all he can force out is a **"Please don't leave me alone".** If Aleks looked like he was going to back off before, he doesn't now. He joins James on the bench, a stream of apologies falling on deaf ears. James appreciates it; he does, but that doesn't matter to him right now. 

Instead, he removes his hand from the bench where he's been gripping it too tightly and carefully, cautiously takes Aleks' hand. Aleks looks at him with a note of surprise, but his surprise relaxes into a smile and he laces their fingers together. 

James focuses again. He finds the ground. He finds the bench. But this time, he grounds himself using Aleks. Aleks is here. Aleks didn't leave him alone. Aleks didn't mean to. 

He is finally, finally, _finally_ able to come down. The knot in his chest loosens, the static subsides, and his mind finally feels like it isn't stuffed with cotton. 

He's not exactly the usual James, not for a couple more hours at least. But Aleks doesn't leave his side and the other guys keep trying to apologize for something they didn't mean to cause. 

James eventually gets fed up with the weird atmosphere and he cracks a joke about how he's probably scarred all of them at some point. It's weak, but James is smiling and the tension dissipates. Aleks looks like he wants to talk about it, but James silences him with a look that promises a later discussion. 

James is doing okay right now and he wants to focus on that.


End file.
